Avoiding the "Try" Angle

Well, darlings, the next letter is a common scenario.  When we are in a relatively happy relationship with a partner, we are at some point confronted by admirers in our everyday lives. (Of course, Mylesie's admirers are legion!) The letter carrier gets "carried away;" the delivery person wants to deliver more than the expected "package;" or a co-worker, as in the case of our reader in this installment, sets sights on you as a potential mate--and I don't mean office mate.  A coffee here, a drink there, the occasional walk, and then suddenly you find yourself in a very compromising position involving grape jelly and fishing line in the elevator at work!  How did you get here?!  The advice from yours truly may seem a bit Puritanical, but (and believe me, Mylesie is no prude) I daresay it is a slippery slope from interested casual acquaintance to dramatic, tearful exit scene or baby-mama.  Mylesie understands, but does not condone this nonsense.  Keep it in your pants, kittens!

Dear Mylesie:

I’ve recently been working out of town and late a lot.  Lately, my co worker (let’s call her Rachel)  has been totally hitting on me!  She's sending flirtatious emails-- inviting me out for the all too familiar lesbian coffee, and vying for movie dates.  I’ve been with the same partner for years now, and while our relationship isn’t perfect, I still love her.  I haven’t told Rachel that I am “married.”  It just never seems to come up in conversation.  I’ve told my partner about Rachel, and she “jokingly” suggested I stab Rachel in the heart and take her money.  I don’t want to hurt Rachel’s feelings, and I would really like to have a friend to pal around with during lunch or after work.  How should I handle this?

Thanks,

Rattled in Rhode Island

Dear Rat,

My first question is why is it taking you so long to inform this usurper that you are with partner?  Could it be that you are a bit blinded by flattery and giddy with the prospect of “forbidden” love?  You are treading on dangerous ground, Rat.  Your partner, (who seems to be at the very least clever and entertaining) is sending you a warning with her thinly veiled “joke.”  She doesn’t like it—and rightfully so.
 

Unless you want a costly divorce, or at the very least, bloodshed, you must nip this blossom of the “love that dare not speak its name” right in the proverbial bud.  Inform Rachel immediately that you are happily married, and uninterested in her romantic pursuit.  I am not sure why you would be risking it, but if you truly wish to be friends with Rachel, you should be very careful. You must keep yourself out of harm’s way and above reproach by only socializing with the home wrecker in public places.  With witnesses.  No alcohol soaked Yahtzee! matches in your hotel room, or drives to quiet wooded areas.  And for God’s sake, do not send her confusing messages by making her a mixed tape or licking her ear.
 

Also, it might be wise to keep your partner away from sharp objects for a while.  Good luck!